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Part I: His Personal Hygiene Honors His Personal Sacredness

Personal Hygiene Part I

Personal Hygiene Part I - (Image Credit: Shutterstock); Author picture - (Image Credit: Author)

Your physical presence is part of your ritual space. Whether you are practicing alone or with a partner, practicing a sādhana exercise or a full Homoerotic Tantra:Mascul-IN-Touch℠ ritual you and your Tantric Lover are part of the space. You have to prepare yourself as you would for any worship or holy service[1].


Personal hygiene is extremely important; a fundamental of homoerotic yogic practice is physical cleanliness.

In Homoerotic Tantra:Mascul-IN-Touch℠ and Mascul-IN-Timacy℠ we do not have casual or random relations with the Tāntric Lover; we prepare for the experience.

Yes, I confess I’m a gym rat. As a gym rat, I see a lot of guys and know firsthand the level of personal hygiene they practice. That’s not to say that all men are warthogs, but a fair majority are.

I would be remiss if I were not to add that most men get their erotic education by watching pornography.

A sad but very true fact. When you observe some of the things that are being done in your typical porn flic, and then mimicked by the viewer, you will have no problem agreeing that personal hygiene is an absolute must!

Even if you are meticulous in your personal hygiene, there are some points that must be made in the context of homoerotic practices and masculine intimacy. I’d like to briefly discuss a couple in this article.

  • First of all, enjoy the fragrance and feel of a good quality botanical soap, and make friends with a brisk shower. You should always shower immediately before and, if possible, after a session.
  • Make certain, even if you are practicing solo-cultivation, that your fingernails are trimmed, smooth, and clean.
  • If you are particularly hairy, consider trimming or removing some of the hair around your genitals and anus.
  • Manscape. We use oils to enhance sensitivity. Hair tends to mat and pull when oiled and massaged; the result is distracting discomfort. Trim excess body hair.
  • If you are practicing a sādhana exercise or a ritual that involves entering the Inner Sanctuary or male Yoni or stimulation of the Sacred Spot (prostate), be sure to douche.

Never celebrate dual cultivation if you are not physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually well.

Even if you have a simple cold, the yogic ethical principle of ahiṃsā (अहिंसा) requires that you protect your Tantric Lover.

This applies even more so to any disease or illness, particularly sexually transmissible disease. Ensure that you are healthy and physically pure for your ritual and for your Tantric Lover.

Appearance and Presence

Appearance and Presence
You are present to your ritual practice and to your Tantric Lover in three manifestations: physical, emotional/mental, and spiritual.

Physical Manifestation

You should be pleasant to gaze upon. Your appearance should arouse kāma (काम), desire. You should be rested and physically fit.

You don’t have to be an Adonis — few of us are — but you should be clean and neatly groomed, sattvic, as we say in Homoerotic Yogic Tantra ℠, and in a comfortable but appealing posture; your posture should be yogic[2].

You should be pleasant to smell. This means you should smell naturally like a hygienic man. You should be free of perfumes, fragrances, offensive odors.

You should be pleasant to taste. You should be free of any products that would affect the natural taste of your body.

In some of the rituals, sensory stimulation is done with the lips, tongue, teeth, mouth, and the sense of smell and taste; in some advanced rituals, body fluids may be exchanged; your diet affects the taste of your body. You will learn how keep your body and its fluids pleasant to taste.

You should be pleasant to hear. We enjoy listening to another person when he doesn’t talk too much, is not loud, speaks only when he has something meaningful to say, and has a pleasant tonal quality to his voice. The homoerotic tāntric man cultivates these qualities.

Pleasant to touch

You should be pleasant to touch. The sense of touch is probably the most erotic and important sense in our entire armamentarium of techniques.

We spend quite a bit of time in Homoerotic Yogic Tantra ℠ touching and being touched. It’s also a sense that has to be learned, since so many men do not know how to touch, or they even avoid touching.

Touch is not only physically important, it has significant psychological implications as well.

Your attire should be minimal and traditional. Colors should reflect your dominant cakra or the cakra to which you will dedicate your ritual or sādhana exercise (in Homoerotic Tantra:Mascul-IN-Touch℠ and Mascul-IN-Timacy℠ we focus on the three lower chakras: Muladhara, Svadhisthana, Manipura, and the transitional cakra, Anahata, whose colors are red, orange, yellow and green, respectively).[3]

Whatever you choose to wear, make certain any ties or closures can be undone without a lot of manipulation; preferably wear a sarong or a loincloth that is tied with a simple knot. Your attire should be easy to remove, and uncomplicated for you or your Tantric Lover to remove.

You should project an allure of accessibility, vulnerability, surrender, humility, masculine dignity, and compassion in your bearing and posture.

A sādhana practice or ritual is not a photo-op nor a posing contest; it is a ritual of offering, sharing, and receiving.

You will be venerated as a male deity in the Homoerotic Yogic Tantra ℠ rituals; be divine and respond divinely. You are a god, so act like one. Whether you are practicing solo-cultivation or dual-cultivation with your Tantric Lover, be humble when you are worshipped.

Emotional/Mental Manifestation

Mental Manifestation
You should be rested, relaxed, and emotionally peaceful.

You should want to be where you are, and doing what you are doing; if your mind is somewhere else, it makes no sense to be doing sādhana, much less practicing with a Tāntric Lover.

In other words, you should not bring any outside stresses or concerns to the ritual space; check stress and ego at the door.

Give the outside world permission to stay outside of the ritual space while you are practicing; if you can’t let go of the world, just leave the sacred space and join the world outside; you’ll only be elsewhere anyway, and you’re likely to distract the rest of us.

You should dispel any stress or tension by practicing a relaxation exercise such as body scanning to ensure your entire body is released.

The most frequent practice I teach is mantrajapa or chanting your māntra. See Dāka if you have a stress problem.

You should practice several minutes of specific prāṇāyāma or breathing exercises to calm the mind and prepare for meditation.

Remember: “Where the breath goes, the mind follows; where the mind goes, the body follows.”

I recommend practicing some form of vipassana-meditation (V-meditation; insight or mindfulness) for at least 5-15 minutes before starting your sādhana exercise or ritual. If your Tāntric Lover or the group wishes, I can lead the meditation or provide a guided meditation sequence.

Do not start your sādhana exercise or ritual if you find your mind is wandering or distracted; continue your breathing exercises or meditation until you are completely relaxed and fit for your practice. If monkey-mind starts acting up, let him go; he’ll calm down and so will you.

Do not focus on any negative thoughts, concerns, or anxieties. Thoughts, concerns, anxieties are just clouds in the sky; they pass and the sun shines through.

You allow them to be negative; you can find positive meaning in your negatives. Just do it!

Release all expectations and thoughts of obligation or duty to perform; place your entire mind and spirit in a cool stream of positive energy and let the flow caress your mind and spirit. The flow will carry you on its currents; you don’t need to help it move you.

Spiritual Manifestation

Spiritual Manifestation
Your physical manifestation and your emotional/mental manifestation inevitably affect your spiritual manifestation; all three forms are in constant interaction, and each has to be evaluated and unblocked or healed before the subtle spiritual form can function optimally.

Diligent attention to your physical manifestation and your emotional/mental manifestation will facilitate a healthy spiritual manifestation.

To recap:

  • Ensure that you are aware of your physical manifestation and emotional/manifestation and that neither is blocked or in need of healing.
  • Ensure that your mind is open and empty of distracting thoughts or anxieties.
  • Ensure that your physical body is in a comfortable āsana and is functioning healthily.
  • Ensure that you are in a state of physical and mental relaxation.
  • Be in a state in which you can focus on what you will be doing in your sādhana exercise or ritual.
  • If you are practicing in dual cultivation, be aware that you are in the presence of a divine manifestation, the Tantric Lover, and behave appropriately in his holy presence.


When you are in the proper physical, emotional/mental/spiritual state, your inner and outer expression will reflect humility, peace, serenity, honor, respect, trust, surrender, dignity, and compassion, in a word, Love.

Proceed with the sādhana exercise or ritual only if you feel those qualities from the outset. If you do not, find out Why? either by self-reflection or by discussing your situation with your Tantric Lover, or by discussing it with your mentor.

Repeat your saṅkalpa (सङ्कल्प), your intention. Recite your personal mantra or the mantra assigned by your mentor for the particular sādhana exercise or ritual.

Invite the spirit of the Divine Masculine Principle to occupy you and your Tantric Lover and worship your Masculine Divinity with mudrā (gesture), gaze, and devotional offering (prasada (प्रसद्), prayer, or mantra).

Perform the five-step Homoerotic Yogic Tantra℠ welcome ritual. Greet the masculine divinity with the añjalimudra (अञ्जलिमुद्रा)[4] and full namaskāra (नमस्कार).[5]

In Part II, I will discuss the physical components of the homoerotic tāntric sacred space where we practice our exercises and rituals.

1] This preparation guideline presumes that you have had any necessary conversation with your Dāka or guru and that you have been prepared for the sādhana exercise or the ritual by him. The guidelines also presume that whether you are practicing solo-cultivation or dual-cultivation, or a ritual with a Tantric Lover, you have had the necessary conversation with him about the sādhana exercise, the practice, or the ritual to ensure that you both are fully aware of what is going to be done and you are both comfortable with the sequence.
2] I love the meaning of sattvic in āyurveda (आयुर्वेद) connotes being “fresh, juicy, light, nourishing, and tasty, and thus energizing the body and enhancing balance,” and while it pertains generally to diet, I like to apply it to Tāntric Lovers, too. Otherwise, sattvic means that a man who cultivates sattva (सत्त्व) seeks to nourish his body with pure substances through a sattvic diet and engages in purifying practices.
3] Throughout the program I refer to the cakras by their Sanskrit names, and I prefer that followers learn those names rather than repeat the misleading English approximations. The names and their English approximations are: Muladhara, root or first chakra; Svadhisthana, sacral or second chakra; Manipura, solar plexus or third chakra; Anahata, fourth or heart chakra, important because it is the transitional chakra from the base three chakras to the so-called higher chakras; Visśudha, throat or fifth chakra; Ajna, third eye or sixth chakra; and Sahasrara, seventh or crown chakra.
4] The Anjali mudra is a very familiar hand gesture where the tips of the fingers of both hands are brought together in a prayer-like position placed initially in the center of the chest, raised reverently to the level of the Third Eye while bowing from the waist in reverence to your deity or Tantric Lover (a deity), and then straightening up and lowering the hands still in mudra back to the center of the chest.
5] The full namaskar is described in the Tantric Lovers ritual. The full namaskar is a full-body mudrā venerating the daka/guru, the Tantric Lover, the patron deities, and expressing gratitude.
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Daka Karuna T.

Psychospiritual Care Provider

Dāka Karuṇā T. (दाक करुणा तान्त्रिक) is a psychospiritual care provider...

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