Did you know that the real name for the G-Spot in women is called the Gräfenberg Spot? Just don’t kill the romance by saying to your partner you want to find your Gräfenberg spot! There certainly has been disagreement over the years about whether the G-Spot even exists at all.
Sexologists often have worried women coming to them because they can’t find their G-spot and believe they are dysfunctional. But Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., a sexologist and relationship expert, knows all about the vagina and female arousal triggers. She says that many women struggle with pleasure during sex. But the most important thing is really to identify where on your body your pleasure comes from.
Find Out What the G-spot Really Is
Often the G-spot in women is portrayed as some magical place. But a study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2017 reported that researchers couldn’t find evidence of any “macroscopic anatomic structure.”
The G-spot is also thought to be part of the clitoral complex, the network of female arousal triggers – pleasure hot spots. Adam Ostrzenski, M.D., Ph.D. at the Institute of Gynecology in St. Petersburg, FL, confirmed that the G-spot does exist.
In his research, he found a sac structure located on the perineal membrane. Read more about his findings here. But the main thing is, as long as you are having healthy sex that suits you, that’s what is important.
How Do You Find the G-Spot In Women?
Well, it’s inside your vagina. If you wanted to stimulate it, you would reach into your vagina, not deeply though; and curl your fingers towards the wall of your stomach, like as if you are saying “come here” to someone.
O’Reilly (above) even recommends you try a dual stimulation vibrator to explore the G-spot. Look at this one here – it’s even shaped in that “come here” beckoning way! As long as you have found your erogenous zone and your partner knows how to find and stimulate it, you are all set to have pleasurable orgasms arising from such female arousal triggers!
What Positions Should You Be in to Feel Good Vibrations?
If you want to access the G-spot, situated in the female erogenous zones, you can start by straddling your man’s penis, like a cowgirl. But don’t get frustrated because there are many positions that you might find more exciting in hitting the spot. Look at these – try them all if you feel like it – all these variations offer you great angles from which to stimulate the G-spot. Check these four ways out – but there are also others.
- Lifted Missionary – This position most people are very familiar with. It’s a great position to stimulate the G-spot in women, particularly if you place a pillow or wedge under your hips to elevate your pelvis. This gives your partner a better angle. Some women find this a good position as it takes the pressure off them, enabling them to focus on their pleasure, grinding their external clitoris against their partner’s pubic bone, and giving him an upward angle to provide that pleasurable internal stimulation.
Doggy Style – This position is one of the best ways to hit the G-spot in women. Every time your partner thrusts, he should be stroking the G-spot. You can also switch from being on your hands and knees to laying down flat on your belly.
You can try getting down on your knees and hands, spreading your legs apart so that your partner penetrates you from behind. The higher you tilt your butt, the easier it will be for your partner to hit the magical G-spot. This position invites deep penetration because the penis pushes directly against the G-spot.
Your guy can wrap his arms around you and give him finger access to your clitoris. Also, changing things up and learning about your body helps you learn just how sensitive your G-spot is and getting the most of all the female arousal triggers.
- Cowgirl – If you like to take the reins, then Cowgirl is the best position. Being on top gives you the control of the depth, angle, and speed to find the G-spot and stimulate it. You can control your clitoral stimulation and, therefore, your orgasm as well – and you get eye contact with your partner too. Your feet will be planted next to him on each side of him as you ride him, giving him greater access to your G-spot. Your partner can put his hands on your hips, lifting them and down as he pushes you down on his penis, allowing intense stimulation for him and your female arousal triggers.
- Rocking Horse – Here, your partner sits cross-legged on a chair, for example, and leans back. You will kneel over his lap and start hugging him with your thighs and as you start to lower your vagina down. This position invites excellent access to the clit, as well as providing access for G-spot stimulation as it gives both of you control.
Maybe You Are Not Always in the Mood for Sex, As Are Many Women
Women have fluctuating sex drives. These can stem from bigger issues. That’s what Dr. Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and psychotherapist in New York says. He says, “In some ways, sexual desire is a barometer of your overall health. If someone comes in with low libido, it can often be an indication that something else is going on emotionally or physically.”
Let’s See What Else Is Needed to Make for Happy Female Erogenous Zones
Dr. Kerner says, “It’s about knowing what feels good, what turns you on, what turns you off, the stimulation you need to move through the process of arousal, the position that you like, and a partner who knows the dance.”
It’s also about stimulating and arousing language in the bedroom because it doesn’t take long for a man to become aroused. But, it’s not the same for women. These are a few picks, but there are others too!
- Take it slow and easy – Appreciate the foreplay before the actual act. Caress each other, using every inch of each other as your playground. Fondle each other’s neck, arms, legs, back, chest slowly. For women, these are great female erogenous zones.
- She will love you asking what she wants – She will feel special if you ask her if she likes what you are doing. You can also ask her about the things she doesn’t like you doing or the things she would like you to do to her. It’s a great way to learn more about your parameters. When you both make each other feel special, it can intensify.
- Tell him if you don’t like to French kiss – Kissing isn’t about just crashing lips together and pushing a tongue down the throat. Lots of women don’t even like French kissing. As lips are part of the female erogenous zones, lips need caressing. Touch her lips softly and delicately with yours. Kissing shouldn’t just be a quickie, and it’s all over.
- Fondle each other the right way – Remember that the intimate parts need a soft touch. While you are gently caressing, fondling each other, talking to each other as well. Remember to ask and show what you want, doing stuff that you both enjoy and teasing each other, at the same time.
- Be gentle when reaching down to the vagina – Being rough and harsh to a woman’s vagina is the same as abusing the scrotum. Similarly, the clitoris is very sensitive and gentle. A man shouldn’t attack a budding flower, a sensitive part of the female erogenous zones, as if he can’t control himself. Instead, he should stimulate his woman’s clitoris, being extra gentle and romantic. A gentle caress is what women prefer. And men shouldn’t force oral sex on a woman either because not all women want it or like it.
The Bottom Line – Healthy Sex
Tips and learning how to pleasure will make your experiences with the G-spot in women pleasurable encounters if you are a guy. You will also score some brownie points for being sensitive and kind – that goes a long way!
Now, you can go and have the best sex of your life, exploring, with or without the G-spot!